Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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