cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
