I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
