i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
