This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I look better un-naked...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
