Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
