Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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