ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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