She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
