At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
