..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
