I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
