you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
