Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
