The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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