I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
