i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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