Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
