I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
