So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
