Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
