Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
