i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
