i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
