Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
