Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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