I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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