i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love having hate sex.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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