matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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