All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
