I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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