everyone is single if you try hard enough
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
