I wannas sexs uuuuu
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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