She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
