So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
