if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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