Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
