i already hear my dad disowning me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
