My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
