Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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