My nipple is on Facebook.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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