I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
