i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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