So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
