I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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