But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
