we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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