i barfeds in our rink
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I deserve this hangover.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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