can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
