I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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