Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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