i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
