"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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