I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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