Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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