its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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