dude i'm inner monologue high
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
