38 yer olds are good kisserssss
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
