when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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