Your tits are I can't wait for
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
