Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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