some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
