if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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