So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
