He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
